everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
