Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
We are two peas in an std pod
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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