yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
