well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
im six kinds of drunk right now
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
