My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Randomize
