Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
