So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Randomize
