I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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