your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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