i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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