i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
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