It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
