'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
