I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
This is my gift to your gina
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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