I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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