look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
