I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
