It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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