We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
just tell him i said nine months
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
