whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
