im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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