Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
