Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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