Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
