In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
