hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
