I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
