I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
