I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
