We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
