OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
