No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
