i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
