She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
