Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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