Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
vagina is talking i cant
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
