So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
