Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
