Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
