Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
