we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
