I only kidnapped one of them. chill
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize