We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Vodka?
Forever.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
