I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
