Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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