your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
