susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize