So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
