On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
