thus making me awesome and them whores
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
