absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
