Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
