Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
