never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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