I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
