Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
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