Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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