So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize