scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
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