i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
