Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize