Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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