I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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